Falling Again II (Sorry for the mix-up)

I'm not sure if you guys remember the dance or kiss entry. If you do, then i have an update to make. Right now, I'd go for the KISS. I dunno why i changed my mind. Maybe I just don't feel "the DANCE" anymore. I mean, he's with someone else already. He's changed too...I dunno. When we see each other in school, I just don't feel the magic anymore. No more sparks or awkward moments. All the butterflies have gone to somewhere else too. I know I miss him. He was my first love after all. But it's all too complicated. We've talked about it in the past and it hurt so much. But I got to accept it someway, somehow.

But now, I'm starting to fall for "the KISS" once again, meaning this is not the first time. I don't know why he keeps popping into my head every single moment of my life. I always feel this glow of warmth just thinking of him. We weren't close at all when we were classmates in high school. He was always with the "cool" guys while i was with the brainy ones. It was only in college when we became close. After all these years being single and lonely, he came into my life and made me feel special. Some may say that he does that to everybody, but I don't care. He's so nice, and caring, and thoughtful and loving to me. I thought we had something going on, so I kept up with him...until one day, he slowly drifted away. We never watched a movie together since then. He never texted, asking where I was or if I was playing dota. And it hurt me so much because like I said, I thought we had something going on. But I was wrong. I'm so stupid to think that it was possible for us to be together. I felt so sad and depressed after we talked about our present relationship. Why only now when I had already fallen in love with him? But then, I realized that it was also my fault. He had already warned me back then not to give in to my feelings. But I guess, my feelings got the most out of me, and so I continued on. But after I felt that he was slowly drifting away, I had nothing to do but accept the fact that some things will never be. And so I myself started to avoid him. I did't want my feelings for him to come back ever again because my agony would only get worse. I really loved him, and I think severing our connection as friends was the best thing to do. But once again, I was wrong. I only felt worse not being with him. I couldn't stand not hearing is voice or not getting a text message from him. But after a while, my feelings for him suddenly just vanished.

But now, I don't know what came to me. I'm falling for him once again. I never wanted him to be my classmate, but he was the one who insisted, and so i gave in. And a while ago, even just the simplest of gestures, and having the chance to be with him once again awakened the feelings that I was able to supress back then...

I really love him. There is nothing for me but to love him. In fact, I love him even more than ever...